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Of everything I have accomplished in my life, I'm most proud of the fact that I've never seen an episode of Jersey shore.

I know for a fact that cheap white wine can't spell worth a damn either!

I love how in scary movies the person yells out "Hello?" as if the killer is going to be like "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?" | Confession Ecard |

bedtime someecard, funny pictures..,,I wonder if this excuse would work for me and calling in for school?

bedtime someecard, funny pictures - Dump A Day

EXACTLY. This is what I'm doing now!

Oh My Freaking Stars!: Multitasking

Funny Flirting Ecard: You are the sun to my moon, the yin to my yang; there's no one else that I'd rather bang.

New God Rule... 'thou shalt not post religious and moral quotes that yee do not live'. Your hypocrisy is going to make me take my own name in vain.

seriously - who do I need to fire?! #ecards

Lol so true! yup the boys have bologna sandwiches in their lunches today....

Pretty fucking awesome

Girls complain about guys using them for sex. Sex is awesome! Start complaining when the start using you for laundry or as a human shield.

Success Dress (successdress)

I often laugh at extremely inappropriate times. Not because I'm nervous or anything...mainly because I think inappropriate things are funny.

Wouldn't it be SO great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free...and three sizes smaller?

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life. Wait an minute while I get a pen to take notes.

Some of life's best lessons are learned by watching your drunk friends