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My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me. Jerks!

I tried to throat punch you via text but there's no app for that. I looked. Twice.

I set my clock ahead to prevent being late.....all it really does is sharpen my subtraction skills.

There's only so much insanity you can blame on the full moon. The rest is just everyday bat shit crazy people being themselves.

awww i found someone who loves me for the horrific, raging, emotionally unpredictable bitch that I am :) i love him for him cause he loves me for me

Don’t Joke About Weight… #snarkecards

Don’t Joke About Weight…

Too true.

Funny Picture Dump Of The Day - 51 Pics

thought bubbles, funny quotes

thought bubbles, funny quotes - Dump A Day