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Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot I only exist when you need something.

I can do all that except waking up feeling refreshed

lol true

No offense, Morgan Freeman…

I'm not the type of person you should put on speaker phone -- True story.

Funny free online cards for kind of mean, self absorbed, drunks.

And that's being nice about it

What would you wish upon your enemies? -

That's so me!

lol.this is SOOO me!!! | Style Sis

another batman sign that will be used in Jake's batman's theme bedroom

People come and go. The best will stay.

Insomnia. Yes Brain, I know I'll never be good enough for don't need to keep reminding me. Yes...we're going to die alone. I get it.

Legally Blond! I just said this quote the other day!! Exercise Gives You Endorphins . LOL

Coffee keeps me busy until it's acceptable to drink wine.

Inspirational Words From The Heart

"A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house."