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I would love to tell some people this at work lmao

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I must need an interpreter because when I say “Hurry, put your shoes on and get in the car”, my kids hear, “It’s a good time to poop.” | Snarkecards

and then the guy you like, but are really good friends with comes up and is like "Klutz!" and starts helping you with your books and you're just like "DUDE!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE I WAS TRYING TO WALK WITH AN AIR OF CONFIDENCE TO IMPRESS YOU!?!?!?!?" And he's just like, "Um, your face is bleeding." and then we go through it again EVERY. SINGLE. FREGGING. WEEEEEEK.

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