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Sometimes I think I should try to be more compassionate and understanding...and then you start talking.
Some things are better left unsaid but I'm probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway!
Been there plenty
I knew you were my real friend after I noticed you cropped my photograph above my muffin top before sharing it on facebook
You are hotter than a Hot Pocket that has been microwaved for six minutes.
Muffins are just ugly cupcakes lol
Bitch I Am Fabulous
have a margarita =)
Silly & Ridiculous