Never Go To Australia
It is way too scary there.
Beadon Bay Caravan Park
"That looks like the frosty cap of King Neptune's Atlantean beer stein. ... In reality, what you're looking at is a dust storm developing near Onslow, Australia." (via 'The Top 116 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped') #Terrifying #Nightmare #BeerDisaster
The Top 116 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped
They're all constantly throwing up, according to their national anthem or whatever.
Melbourne was almost named "Batmania", but the Aussies went with a non-Batman name because in the end they don't care about other people.
The 5 Most Shockingly Awful Names Major Cities Almost Had
Bet you didn't know Australia, on top of it all, also has HORRIBLE WINTERS (in parts of it).
That's how kids play in Australia. If your kid isn't up to wrestling gators, DON'T BRING THEM THERE.
Charles Darwin taste-tested every animal he discovered. It's like how Darwin, Australia (or any other place in Australia) will chew you up and spit you out if you go there.
It's a bar that has food. Even more importantly, IT IS NOWHERE NEAR AUSTRALIA
"Major G.P.W. Meredith, in no doubt the proudest moment of his military career, decided to set up a proper military ambush at a local dam in order to surprise a group of 1,000 emus. Once again, the birds scattered and slipped away. This scenario repeated itself until Meredith's I've-Had-Enough-of-This-Shit-O-Meter reached critical levels."
Australia's army once tried to fight a war against emus. The army lost. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR CHANCES WOULD BE?
There are around a dozen shark attacks in Australia per year. That's a dozen too many.