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Skill Level: Master

Sometimes it hurts physically to hold in my sarcastic comments.

Funny Memes - Hold in my sarcastic comments

"Look...I'm trying to rant here. Stop interrupting me with 'facts' and 'reason'."

Family Vs. Relatives

Family Vs. Relatives

Good intentions....~especially with a broken ankle kmb~

Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.

Pick up lines for old people: Hey baby, you better call life alert, cause I’ve fallen for you and can’t get up.

Whenever I check my weight, I always subtract 5 pounds. I dont think boobs and brains this fabulous should be held against me.

Rottenecards - Not sure if I need sex, sleep or to punch someone in the face.