Cat tree - for real. This would look great in the house, much more decorative than the carpet towers sold at the pet centers, and the kitties seem to be enjoying it! Craft store tree, handyman platforms, totally do-able.
Seriously the funniest story EVER!! People say " I laughed so hard I cried"...I was BAWLING!! Even you "mature" people will laugh!! The Fart That (Almost) Altered My Destiny - the funniest story I've ever read. Literally *crying* laughing!