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Shark Bait (Finding Nemo)

Mardy Mabel Relationship Break Up Card: no one liked your boyfriend anyway.. £3.00, via Etsy.

You do realize that my vagina has an On and Off switch linked to the words that come out of your mouth.

Well-deserved vacation...

Funny free online cards for kind of mean, self absorbed, drunks. Bluntcard.com

I Already Want To Nap – Thug Life Shirts

I Have Mixed Drinks About Feelings – Thug Life Shirts

and the Lord sayeth onto thee...thou shall not choke belligerent customers or smacketh dumb coworkers upside the head. Amen.