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Its your lucky day. I picked you as my first round draft pick for getting hammered and making bad decisions with tonight.

love duct tape!

Primitives by Kathy 'Wine Is Like Duct Tape' Box Sign | Nordstrom

Jennifer is a party pooper. This makes me laugh over and over. HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!

Tequila Sunshine Tacos Flask

Tequila Sunshine Tacos Tee Flask

I speak 4 languages: English, Profanity, Sarcasm, and Real shit.

Keep Calm and Poop Rainbows Unicorn Small water bottle, poop humor

Keep Calm and Poop Rainbows Unicorn Small

STRANGERS think I'm quiet. MY FRIENDS think I'm outgoing. MY BEST FRIENDS know that I'm completely insane.

They say we should be eating more raw foods. That's all I needed to hear to whip up another batch of cookie dough.

Instead of saying LOL, I'm gonna say SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It's more truthful.