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Jokes

Funny jokes

376 Pins

Jokes

  • 376 Pins

A guy's on the electric chair A guy's on the electric chair ...

A guy's on the electric chair

jokesoftheday.net

The Painting Nuns Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door, strip ...

The Painting Nuns

jokesoftheday.net

Fact or fiction? Fact or fiction (you make the call): 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning. 2. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin… they can’t face each other, but, they still stay together. ...

Fact or fiction?

jokesoftheday.net

Q: What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs? A: Anything you want -- he can't hear you.

Deaf Rover | Jokes of the day (20429)

jokesoftheday.net

Which one picked it up? - Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel ... Read more on page: www.jokesoftheday...

Which one picked it up?

jokesoftheday.net

What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? - Hope it's Halloween.

What do you do when 50 zombies...

jokesoftheday.net

Would you a get a girlfriend if I died? Wife: "Would you get a girlfriend again if I died?" Husband: "Of course not." Wife: "Why not? Don't you like being married?" ...

Would you a get a girlfriend if I died?

jokesoftheday.net

I am Just Fine - A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde. ...

Never Lie to Your Mother - Peter invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal; his mother couldn't help but notice how lovely Peter's flat mate, Joanne, was. She had long been ...

Qualities of a woman - Top 5 qualities of a woman: ...

Speeding Ticket Cop pulls over a car with a couple in it. "What's the problem officer?" "Sir, you were going 68 in a 50-zone." ...

Special golf ball - Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had just one golf ball....

Serious Sergent - An old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. . "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. ...

How much? A man meets a woman at a bar and asks her "Would you have sex with me for 10 million dollars?" ...

Little Johnny on Math - A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them ...

One Too Many? A man decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. ...

A Doctors Lecture - A Doctor was addressing a large audience. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here ...

Paintings An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently...

Signs to Hang in the Office I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. If swimming is so good for your figure ...

Damn Parking Enforcement - I went to the shop the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there was a damn traffic officer writing a parking ticket for over-running the meter. So I went up to him and said ...

First time A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, ...

Two-timer Mrs. Donnell said to her maid: "Oh Mary, I suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary." ... "I don't believe it," Mary snapped: "you're just saying that to make me jealous." #joke #jokeoftheday

Gender You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender. For example... 1) Ziploc Bags- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but ...

Things Not To Say During Childbirth -- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could...

Home Remedies 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid ...