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Credit Cards - Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public ...

What's for supper? - This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to ...

Fish Heads - A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you s...

Hearing Aid - A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. I...

Circle Flies - An old farmer got pulled over by a young state trooper for speeding. The trooper, fresh on the job, decided to throw his weight...

Technology - Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping st...

I Know the Truth - At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults hide at least one dark secret and this makes it very easy...

Obsessions - A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions,...

Tractor Salesman A farmer walked into a bar and saw the local tractor salesman sitting there, head hung low, obviously upset, drowning his s...

Toilet Paper - A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper. "Pardon...

Poor guy - A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young coupl...

In The Hotel Lobby - A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bum...

Grandma Loves Oranges - A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her Grandma. One day, the polic...

Gallery Sale - An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good new...

24 Hours Left - A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognos...

Belated confession - A man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” he ...

Fooling Around - One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting marrie...

Getting Airsick A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, mean-looking guy plops down in ...

The Umbrella - A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What ...

The Worst Age - "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand a...

Skinny Dippers - Ron, an elderly man in Australia, had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond at the back. It was properly...

Wet Smokers Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, c...

Great Toast John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" That won him the ...

Water and Whiskey A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experim...

Big People Words - A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the t...