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Jokes

Funny jokes

Birthday Party A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a hired clown. ...

Losing Weight A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next da...

Job Interview - Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" IMG_1975 The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."...

Grandma's Boyfriend - A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the ...

Near death experience - A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-dea...

Dining Companion - A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few p...

Soap And Water - After several exciting dates, Jim invited Tina over to his house for a home-cooked dinner. When she sat down at the table, s...

Lost credit card - A man says to his friend: "My wife's credit card got stolen last week." "That's a shame," says the friend: "have you told t...

The Vase - A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen t...

Goodbye, mother - Walking through a supermarket, a young man noticed an old lady following him around. He ignored her for a while, but when he...

Credit Cards - Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public ...

What's for supper? - This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to ...

Fish Heads - A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you s...

Hearing Aid - A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. I...

Circle Flies - An old farmer got pulled over by a young state trooper for speeding. The trooper, fresh on the job, decided to throw his weight...

Technology - Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping st...

I Know the Truth - At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults hide at least one dark secret and this makes it very easy...

Obsessions - A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions,...

Tractor Salesman A farmer walked into a bar and saw the local tractor salesman sitting there, head hung low, obviously upset, drowning his s...

Toilet Paper - A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper. "Pardon...

Poor guy - A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young coupl...

In The Hotel Lobby - A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bum...

Grandma Loves Oranges - A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her Grandma. One day, the polic...

Gallery Sale - An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good new...