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Definition: the use of remarks which clearly mean the opposite of what they say, and which are made in order to hurt someone's feelings or to criticize something in a humorous way. Not all of the messages here truly express my opinions. After all, "Total absence of humor renders life impossible." Colette (1873 - 1954)

~ Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I am not in a mental asylum. Then I take a good look around at everyone and realize ....... maybe I already am.

eat your veggies

veggies tee – Buy Me Brunch

May the time you spend creating your kid's Halloween costume make you feel less guilty about eating all their candy.

I'm not going let the fact that Halloween is on a Friday stop me from showing up to work hungover on Monday.

The scariest part of Halloween is knowing my rent is due the next day.

May your Halloween costume be less offensive than the things you'll do while you're in it.

Happy early Halloween to someone we both know would be the first to go in a horror movie.

Sorry I can't attend your Halloween party but I'll be busy acting my age.

Your forced grin on Mondays is more unsettling than any jack o' lantern's.