It's true that those people close to you won't understand what you have been through, I can barely understand and I have experienced it... Find understanding with others who have experienced it as well. Seek out therapy, support groups Facebook support groups, blogs etc. There are many good resources for connecting with those who understand because they gave been through it as well.
And yet when you are floating face down there all concerned why care now you already killed he or she and then try to fix everything it just so stupid. Well I will be the one that well see that you are hurting. And don't say that your not hurting because every one is hurting just are you accepting the fact that you are hurting?