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More like this: happy wednesday, max factor and walmart.

Hence why I no longer use Facebook because the relationship shit is ridiculous

Funny Birthday Ecard: Congratulations on being born a long ass time ago.

Oh, look...It's half past fuck this shit. I'm going home.

Hey! Your fake tan and this dog shit are the same color! Twinsies!

No, I don't have a huge rock on my finger, but the ring I have was carefully thought through and is incredibly precious and close to my heart. It symbolizes our decision to be lifetime pioneers. No, I didn't have an elaborate wedding, but I promised to spend my life with an amazing man, and I got to share that with my friends and family, with simple food and music. What else could I want?

The only time anyone should ever use phrase 'ride or die' is if you're a paramedic and your patient won't get in the ambulance.

Funny Pictures Of The Day – 65 Pics

I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds.... People move out of the way much faster now.

Due to the price increase on ammo, I can no longer provide a warning shot. Thank you for understanding.

Sometimes that's just how it is.

Who wears the pants in our relationship?