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I don't know what to do about it

A pizza menu came in the mail today...

"To the mother of my children's friends and doctors."

"My 8 year old cousin struggled to say this joke to me, because he was laughing so hard."

I'm sick of guys using attractiveness as an excuse

I've saved tons of money with this

"Saw the picture with Jack Nicholson's head on this guy. Couldn't resist."

"My sister's friends are "actors", and apparently I'm an "a**hole"." Oh, self-righteous extras...

Seriously. They exist for a reason

"When I was about 13 I hit my sister when I got mad once. My dad taught me this."

You can't clean something without something else getting dirty

Today is the oldest you have ever been and the youngest you'll ever be again. Whoa. Dude.

I just realized this.

It is so hard to trust anyone who is that nice.

"Was surprised to see this guy when I noticed the new air freshener at work"

I literally JUST experienced this FWP

The veterans really aren't the ones you should be mad at.