Because dammit Carl, you're good enough.
To Cookie Monster: Relax, there are no chocolate chip cookies to delete. To Everyone Else: Contemplate the next time you are in front of your computer... there are no virtual cookies, no chair, no desk, no computer, and no you as you know it -how is our misunderstanding of reality and subsequent discontent any different from Cookie Monster's? Shunyata!
I would never do this. But I thought it was funny!