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Valerie Hignett Brocato

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE A TEACHER? by Jeff Foxworty # You get a secret thrill out of laminating things. # You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line. # You walk into a store and hear the words, “It’s Ms./Mr. ____________ and know you have been spotted. # You have 25 people who accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another. # You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes. # You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period. # You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom. # You believe the Teacher’s Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine. # You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off”. # You believe chocolate is a food group. # You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside. # You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids are sure mellow today.” # You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public. # You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin. # You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form. # You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children. # You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items! # You ask your friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a “good choice” or “bad choice.” # You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils. # You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer. # You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents