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Rodney Dangerfield

"You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time." - Abraham Lincoln

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ― Mother Teresa

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"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is." - Ellen DeGeneres

"From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it." - Bette Davis

"Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter." - Andy Rooney

"Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which, of course, in German means a whale's vagina." - Will Ferrell in Anchorman