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Jessica Smiley
Jessica Smiley • 3 years ago

Brooklyn Masters New Era Brown Price: $47.00 $37.60 Description: Ever since 1911 Dutch Masters have been this cheap shitty cigar you can buy at the corner store. I don't know who was into buying the shittiest cigars in the world just to smoke them but in the nineties the clientele entirely switched over to people just wanting to get blunted. Dutch Masters clearly know this because who the fuck is going around smoking grape flavored cigars? Or cognac flavored cigars? Yughhhhhh. Here's a fun thing for all you weed smoking tardos out there. The picture on the Dutch Masters box is a painting by Rembrandt called the Sampling Officials. The five men in the image are the five sampling officials of the Amsterdam Drapers' Guild. These totally awesome warlock-ish looking Dutch men are sitting around testing the quality of different samples of wool. The one standing second from the right is a servant. Pretty fresh, eh? Anyway, whether you like getting tardised off blunts or whether you love Rembrandt's awesome paintings of guys doing stuff you are sure to look so rad in a Five Easy Pieces high brow/low brow kinda way. Mishka is really into skeletonizing stuff so now the wool sorting guys are skeletons. In real life they are probably dust since this painting was done in 1662. I want to snort the Dutch Masters.

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