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Hotpoint's Swing-Door Portable: And if your children can do it blindfolded, then you have raised them well!

Pitney-Bowes Postage Meter: Ha! Don't we all wish we could murder people sometimes? What on earth did this woman do? Put too many of those darned 4c stamps on a postcard again! Being the woman she is, maybe she put another letter in the post with no stamps at all. Buying this product will save lives.

Chase & Sanborn Coffee: Because choosing stale coffee means a sore hiney for wifey.

Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic: The good old days, when fattening your children was encouraged. Here, piggy piggy pig pig.

Unnamed Shoe Ad: We all know exactly where she belongs: Naked, on the floor, watching a shoe. All day long. That'll teach her!