How about you just don't smell like a luckless teenage boy who thinks women are retarded olfactory organs on legs? I'm pretty sure most women are more likely to flock to non-offensive charm than your offensive "charm her fucking pants off" odor. Hint: Girls don't like the smell of bathroom cleaning products. I won't even address the abuse joke.
Also on these boards
HAHAHHAAH! The last one killed me! XD