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Everyone's going to the gym and eating healthy and I'm just like.........

I'm just gonna sit back relax, and read a good fictional story. Is your Facebook still active?

Honey, It's not a competition if I've already won.

No, It’s not easy. I just make it look that way.

Rottenecards - No, It’s not easy. I just make it look that way.

rottenecards.com

You may think you're the shit, but to me you're just a turd who's waiting for the flush.

I never blame the booze for my bad decisions. A professional never blames his equipment.

According to this serving size I'm a family of four.

Chicks be like He was nice in the beginning!

I hate when bitches try to bring me down. Don't they know they are already below me.

Vegetarian is an old Indian word for bad hunter.

Rottenecards - Vegetarian is an old Indian word for bad hunter.

rottenecards.com

You can lead a horse to water but you can't turn a jackass into a stallion.

I'm not a smartass.... You're just a dumbass.

Rottenecards - I'm not a smartass.... You're just a dumbass.

rottenecards.com

You know it's been a good day, when I didn't have to unleash the flying monkeys.

I wasn't born to clean I was born to be a QUEEN!!