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There's a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad." It's more like "Her old ass should know better."

I sometimes watch birds and wonder "I I could fly who would I shit on?"

Whoever is in charge of making sure I don't do stupid shit is fired.

I finally know what skinny feels like. Hungry. It feels like hungry.

skinny feels kind of like hungry…. | I Love Funny Pics

ilovefunnypics.com

Sometimes I pretend to be normal; but then it gets b-o-r-i-n-g, so I go back to being me.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal

lefunny.net

Sweetie I'm not laughing at your bad luck, I'm merely cheering on Karma for doing such a great job of biting you in the ass...that's totally different...

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I am fluent in three languages...English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.

  • Oona

    perhaps a beautiful picture of lucille ball?! ;)

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, bitch seriously what the fuck is your problem?

Look, I'm trying to rant here. Stop interrupting me with "facts" and "reason".

You're my best friend. Until you start calling me instead of texting. Then it's over between us.

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