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Birthday Ecards, Free Birthday Cards, Funny Birthday Greeting Cards at

Your 'poor me' attitude is quite annoying. For the record people can see right through you and the ones that can't are just like you.

True friendship is when you go over to your friend's house and you both just take a nap. | Friendship Ecard

You shouldn't stop yourself from getting embarrassingly intoxicated just because your birthday falls on a Monday.

I expect you to treat me with the utmost respect unless we're in bed.

Free, Workplace Ecard: In case you didn't hear the look I just gave you, SHUT UP.

Free, Friendship Ecard: True friendship is when you go over to your friend's house and you both just take a nap.

I tried sending you something sexy for your birthday but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox. | Birthday Ecard

Free, Breakup Ecard: Do not ever underestimate my ability to find shit out.

Free, Confession Ecard: I clean when I'm frustrated. So, if you show up unannounced & our house is clean... You might want to reconsider your visit.

Here's a band-aid, Honey. 'Cause I know it hurts so much to mind your own business. | Apology Ecard

Here's to Ebola for giving us another reason to avoid Texas.

Our platonic relationship really turns me on. | Flirting Ecard

I would tell you to go to hell but I work there and don't want to see you everyday.

Congratulations on doing what we pay you to do.

Free, Flirting Ecard: I'm on that diet where you cut out all carbs and all sugar and all happiness.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes! Now let's forget it ever happened so I can pretend to still be in my early 20's this year. | Thanks Ecard

Since it's difficult to infer tone in an email, you should assume all mine are sarcastic or bitchy.

I'm sorry there isn't a relationship status on Facebook that accurately describes our situation.

I'd ask you to go fuck yourself, but you'd probably just delegate that to me too.

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