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two cans of whoop ass! coming up!

Would you like one can of 'whoop ass' or two?

These are so funny sometimes!! This is perfect!!

Bitch, you better rewind your attitude before I fast forward your ass whooping.

There are some things that are better left unsaid but you can bet your sweet ass that I'm going to say them anyway.

This group text message makes me feel like I'm actually spending time with all of you.


It's the simple things...: Yuck!

Just FYI. I won't be taking naps any more. That means you'll need to get all your shit done while I'm awake. Good luck with that!

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge & a crunch ...It's called lunch!

Grant me Serenity to accept that I must pay taxes, Courage to file an extension, and Wisdom to hide the bodies of those who gloat that they got refunds back months ago!

Sometimes my workouts are so strenuous that I reward myself by taking a year or two off.

Lol...only if you know they aren't carrying their hunting rifle