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I hate it when words show up in this order....more succinctly, I think the hallmark of our species is our ability to lie to ourselves. Christ, we tell ourselves some complete bull shit.

the legal system takes a more serious view, however.

I'm thinking about his big plans for Job...

I can't actually say it without my wife's sharp elbow going into my side. But it;s really good.

Ouch. Ouch. Oh, God, My teeth...

and all of that stuff in between the two between your brains and your feet and shoes? The stuff you can do with that middle section feels pretty good with the right kind of friend

See also Icarus. Doubt is sometimes a very good friend.

I'm afraid of shark attacks and heights. Oh, and forgetting to hang the food in the tree while camping and getting attacked by a bear. That's probably not gonna set me free, is it?

That kind of is the definition of betrayal. Your enemies are just acting in accordance with your expectations. This isn't deep, it's kind of the opposite.

Yeah, quit bitching about your amputated leg.

Shit rich people can say. The rest of us better start work on time.

screw whoever you gotta.

Sometimes that reason is "we're both drunks"

Yeah, c'mon. You don't need your mind.

It also helps to not have a whole helluva lot to say.

Unless it's some kind of stalker or really unattractive person or they have a drinking problem. It's actually not so hard to assess their diamond-ness. Trust your gut.

...And still getting your ass kicked.

Hell yeah. Words of inspiration from large corporations. This is the absolute bottom.

Oddly, this is also the definition for being a dip shit.

But it's a crappy way to get laid.

even if it costs you your job.

Of course, birds lack the ability to really weigh the possibilities, too. That's the real trick. Don't think about the ways shit can go wrong. Who needs planning?

Like inappropriately smiling all the time while egregiously profiting from people's faith?

There's something wrong with this logic. Namely that this event has never happened to anyone. Now, it could be phrased "What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you kept in waterproof containers". You'd have something there.

Soon everyone will be doing your graceless dance.