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My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter

**OFFICIAL SITE** HOW TO QUINOA: LIFE LESSONS FROM MY IMAGINARY WELL-DRESSED DAUGHTER is in bookstores now! Follow Quinoa on Twitter (@ImaginaryQuinoa) Instagram (@Imaginary_Quinoa) and Facebook (MyImaginaryWellDressedToddlerDaughter). Or contact me, Tiffany, by email at

How To Quinoa is featured on the best-of-the-web podcast Fortnight on the Internets. Check it out!

FOTI #57: Ice Bucket Challenge

Of all the back-to-school trends this season, Quinoa's favorite is shoulder shoes. #MIWDTD #HowToQuinoa #buythebook

  • Lisa Shafer

    Surely she must be STARTING trends, not just following them?!

  • Kym Blackwell

    @El Hubbard , please tell me you follow this. Please look through. It's hilarious.

  • Julie Woods

    It's important that the shoulder shoe coordinate (but not MATCH) other accessories like eyewear.

  • Jennifer Bohrer

    also, they must be new fresh out of the box, best if have never been on anyone's feet...

  • Molly Romeo

    No outfit is complete without Shoulder Shoes. Duh!

Quinoa was there for her friend Gazpacho when he realized (after she pointed it out) that he had crossed the delicate line between Mysterious Artist and Weird Kid Who Hoards Stuff From Craigslist. #MIWDTD

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Quinoa seemed fine during her history lesson on the Great Mullet Epidemic of the late 80s, but was found later in the fetal position. #MIWDTD

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As the kingpin, Quinoa says the key to success in Toddler Terrace Bowling is not to fear the ball, but to dare it to knock you down. #MIWDTD

Gorgeous spring 2015 kids fashion by Aristocrat Kids
  • Jennie Stevens

    Grenadine back there doesn't look too sure about this. She needs to Quinoa-up.

Quinoa and her BFF Chevron love to play a little game in which Quinoa spontaneously shouts, "Jump!" and Chevron jumps, but not nearly high enough. #MIWDTD

out to school: 3/4 : CAKIES
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After a long weekend of battling for independence, Quinoa treated herself to a new string of pearls and a parakeet scalp massage. #MIWDTD

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Quinoa has been around long enough to know that you never show up to a play date for the first time without your own lighting. #MIWDTD

  • Mindy Cohen

    Has her hair been styled to help the installers position the lights?

  • Cat Herdr

    Nice boots!

  • Indigo Retro

    Quinoa also apparently knows sclera contact lenses are the ultimate accessory. Pinhead-couture is TOTALLY going to be a thing, and she is on the bleeding edge.

  • Myriam Bostwick

    She learned that from her great-aunt Maleficent, who incidentally styled her hair!

Quinoa's friend Orzo always seems so laid back at play dates. You know, once he finishes covering all the walls in butcher paper. #MIWDTD

Brands - kid's wear - department
  • Call Me Heidi

    Butcher paper always calms Orzo down.

  • Ethel Mohr

    The ultimate neutral. Timeless!

  • Kelley

    The Mommy Minder League of Au Pairs only became concerned when he kept insisting on meeting in rooms with drains in the floor and plastic sheeting and using slang from 1940's Gangster movies. A sternly worded Instagram was quickly dispatched to his Past Life Regression Therapist to intervene.

  • Nicole Neal

    Holy crap, Kelley! That is awesome!

  • Amy Callaman

    XD ^ Kelley

One time Quinoa made the mistake of going to a public beach. #MIWDTD

Colección invierno >
  • Peg Krueger

    Wishing Quinoa a speedy recovery from this traumatic experience.

  • Nannette Hiller

    Pedestrian and barefoot? We know she doesn't do flip flops. Tiff, you gotta put down the pinot and watch that kid. There are things in that sand you will have to explain besides the sprawling, old mall ashtray between her toes.

  • Jennifer Troch

    @Kelly Burich If you aren't following this board, you are missing out on some serious humor that I think you'll love.

  • Kelly Burich

    This looks like a must!

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It's Quinoa's Book Birthday! How to Quinoa: Life Lessons from My Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter is in bookstores NOW! All new photos plus ten hilarious chapters! If you love the Quinoa Pinterest feed, you'll love the book even more! (And if you love the book, please consider writing an Amazon review.) XOXO, Tiffany (Quinoa's mom) #MIWDTD

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And for the final phase of their conscious unpairing, Quinoa and Boursin took a series of forlorn-resignation photos to release with their statement to the media. #MIWDTD

Moda infantil >
  • Cat Herdr

    I love how the wind is selectively blowing Quinoa's hair, but not Boursin's. Part of the unpairing process?

  • Kimberly Widmer

    It was time for a break up. Boursin always seemed a bit cheesy to me.

  • Maia Y

    Indeed. Quinoa and Boursin is a combination that could never have worked. She'd be much better off with Kale or Açai.

  • Tessa Just Tessa

    Quinoa keeps possession of windblown hair in the separation decree.

  • Stephanie

    Conscious unpairing is a more palatable phrase than conscious uncoupling. Bleck.

Quinoa is expected to have a full recovery, but will need to wear a Dahlia-Hydrangea neck brace for three to four more weeks. #MIWDTD

A Day by the Dark Floral: Alexandrena Parker |
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Quinoa and her friends Paraffin and Humira had the most amazing time competing in the Junior Despondent Society Pageant. #MIWDTD

Mischka Aoki stunning summer girls dresses for spring 2014
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Sometimes Quinoa's BFF Chevron is so difficult at play dates. First, she brought the wrong gauge of tulle for the ethereal backdrop, and then she blatantly disregarded the gold lamé, peacock silk and gilded head wreath dress code. #MIWDTD

Dreamy kids shoot for Enfant Terribles magazine
  • Patti K

    Quinoa obviously doesn't recognize 'conscience uncoupling' when it's staring her right in the face...

  • Tina Hatch

    Ha patti, good one

  • Jennie Stevens

    The things Quinoa has to put up with! She's a saint!

  • Holly Davis

    Chevron, no one is perfect! You keep trying your best, and maybe Quinoa will come around.

  • Camille Flynn

    I agree, chevron needs to prioritize and get her shit together

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The How to Quinoa books are beginning to arrive! Order yours if you haven't already from your favorite bookseller! #MIWDTD

  • Tiffany Beveridge

    Oh goodness, I hope I didn't make you nervous! No, your photo isn't in the book. The book features all new photography secured directly from a handful of photographers with their permission. We also obtained permissions from the models/guardians too. If there is ever a second Quinoa book, would you like me to reach out to you?

  • Tiffany Beveridge

    Jess, yes, they were excited. I had a great time working with the photographers.

  • Jess

    Fantastic! Best of luck! :)

  • Stephanie Gramacki

    I was wondering if you had new photos made for tge

  • Stephanie Gramacki

    Omg, tablet freezing! ...for the book. That's awesome. Bet you got really creative and funny. Can't wait to read it.

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Quinoa will never forget when her friend Pabst learned that Portland was an actual place and not a metaphor for heaven. #MIWDTD

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In the nick of time, Quinoa was able to swat the tweezers from Nespresso's hand and apply pressure until the eyebrow artist could arrive to even his brows. #MIWDTD

  • Tina Yeh

    Where was Quinoa when I had an eyebrow accident? :(

  • Lindy Hector Witton

    It looks like she leapt from the pool or sun lounge to assist

  • Tricia Vollmer

    The thing that always gets me about these posts is that someone actually got these kids to pose like this -- on purpose! I always enjoy how ridiculous you make them seem :)

  • Selena Fettig

    Don't look directly at him, Quinoa.

  • Tara May

    Hilarious. @Sasha Villa I love you for introducing me to Quinoa and her friends.

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Quinoa had no problem with her friend Delineate's gentle criticism and incessant questions, especially after she had been blindfolded and locked in the basement closet. #MIWDTD

New kidswear from Latvia - Aristocrat Kids for fall 2014
  • Kimo&Henele

    Quinoa always comes up with such sensible solutions!

  • Andrea James

    Delineate! Brilliant. Xx

  • Ruben Bonadonna

    Will we see a high fashion dexter-esque kill room in Quinoa's future, complete with fair trade silk restraints and organic, chevron printed refuse sachets....

  • Ella McDowell Johnson

    LOVE those bold colors, dolls, especially in silk!

  • Christy Schmidt

    I hate that I even know this, but in this picture Quinoa looks like a younger version of Allison from Pretty Little Liars.

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Quinoa asks you to please, please, please never speak so callously about gluten in front of her friend Schwinn again. #MIWDTD

Look on the MILK - Petit Monde
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Quinoa loves it when her au pair Fontanelle opens up the dress up closet, rounds up the neighborhood kids, and they all go out for an afternoon of Jolie-Pitting. #MIWDTD

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Quinoa had a lovely time at Charcuterie's summer home. Everything was perfectly whitewashed and all the industrial fans were set to "medium Beyoncé," just the way she likes. #MIWDTD

Kendall Boggs Fine Arts and Crafts: How's That Wedding Goin?
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Quinoa frequently suffers from exposure to Casual Fridays. #MIWDTD

Tactile Necessity: fashion

For the next phase of their conscious un-pairing, Quinoa and Boursin had their many individual tears dehydrated and infused with saffron before meeting to fling them at each other. #MiWDTD

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If she hadn't been so quick to block him, Quinoa might not have saved her friend Amino from being lured into buying a Skylander t-shirt at the street fair. #MIWDTD

ALALOSHA: VOGUE ENFANTS: Oscar de la Renta SS14 Lookbooks
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