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My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter

**OFFICIAL SITE** HOW TO QUINOA: LIFE LESSONS FROM MY IMAGINARY WELL-DRESSED DAUGHTER is in bookstores now! Follow Quinoa on Twitter (@ImaginaryQuinoa) Instagram (@Imaginary_Quinoa) and Facebook (MyImaginaryWellDressedToddlerDaughter). Or contact me, Tiffany, by email at tiffanybeveridge@gmail.com.

How to Quinoa: Life Lessons from My Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter by Tiffany Beveridge

Quinoa assured Gazpacho that as soon as her ex playfriend Boursin walked out of the building and saw the cerulean promise wristband, their play date would resume. #MIWDTD #HOWTOQUINOA #ginakimphotography

Enfant Street Style

enfantstreetstyle.com

Yes, Quinoa knows she shouldn't have used her au pair Fontanelle's Amex without asking, but a cruel punishment of public over-patterning isn't going to bring a FICO score back, is it? #MIWDTD #HOWTOQUINOA

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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Quinoa specifically requested that she and Chayote be referred to as the "Floral Dissemination Specialist" and "Symbolic Ornament Conveyor" on the wedding program instead of using archaic labels that force children into gender stereotypes. #MIWDTD #HOWTOQUINOA

Despite his obvious pain, Quinoa reminded Hashtag that there are no shortcuts in life. He wouldn't have a malfunctioning knockoff iPhone if he'd simply had his nanny stand in line for three days like everybody else. #MIWDTD #HOWTOQUINOA

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On the rare occasion Quinoa doesn't receive a formal invitation to a play date, she remembers it is simply code for "Make a Surprise Entrance." #MIWDTD #HOWTOQUINOA

Between his dimly lit playroom, ill-fitting peacoat, and overall general malaise, Quinoa's friend Salinger was showing all the tell-tale signs of becoming a stock character in a mildly plagiarized college paper. #MIWDTD #HOWTOQUINOA

Kids world traveller look at Scotch Shrunk and Scotch R'Belle

smudgetikka.com

Unfortunately, Quinoa was unable attend the Hipster Ball with Halloumi, but graciously sent her essence to accompany him instead. #MIWDTD #HOWTOQUINOA

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While walking on sidewalks, Quinoa loves to play the "always step on cracks or you'll pay more income tax" game. #MIWDTD #HOWTOQUINOA

  • Cat Herdr

    Quinoa demonstrates her mastery of this art form here by shouting out a fierce Kiai while both insteps are above the cracks simultaneously

Quinoa says all caps isn't so much a font treatment as it is a mindset. #MIWDTD #HOWTOQUINOA #BUYTHEBOOK

Of all the back-to-school trends this season, Quinoa's favorite is shoulder shoes. #MIWDTD #HowToQuinoa #buythebook

  • Lisa Shafer

    Surely she must be STARTING trends, not just following them?!

  • Kym Blackwell

    @El Hubbard , please tell me you follow this. Please look through. It's hilarious.

  • Julie Woods

    It's important that the shoulder shoe coordinate (but not MATCH) other accessories like eyewear.

  • Jennifer Bohrer

    also, they must be new fresh out of the box, best if have never been on anyone's feet...

  • Molly Romeo

    No outfit is complete without Shoulder Shoes. Duh!

Quinoa was there for her friend Gazpacho when he realized (after she pointed it out) that he had crossed the delicate line between Mysterious Artist and Weird Kid Who Hoards Stuff From Craigslist. #MIWDTD

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Quinoa seemed fine during her history lesson on the Great Mullet Epidemic of the late 80s, but was found later in the fetal position. #MIWDTD

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As the kingpin, Quinoa says the key to success in Toddler Terrace Bowling is not to fear the ball, but to dare it to knock you down. #MIWDTD

Gorgeous spring 2015 kids fashion by Aristocrat Kids

smudgetikka.com

Quinoa and her BFF Chevron love to play a little game in which Quinoa spontaneously shouts, "Jump!" and Chevron jumps, but not nearly high enough. #MIWDTD

out to school: 3/4 : CAKIES

mycakies.com
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After a long weekend of battling for independence, Quinoa treated herself to a new string of pearls and a parakeet scalp massage. #MIWDTD

  • Shawna Nicole

    What on earth are you all talking about?

  • Tonya Christensen

    Oh Shawna - just google "imaginary well dressed Quinoa" and you will be all caught up on the humor here :)

  • Shawna Nicole

    So, basically a bunch of well dressed kids and toddlers? What's up with the Quinoa name? Isn't that something you eat? Haha I'm sorry.. At least I found a keyword to search for mi

  • Shawna Nicole

    My mini fashionista board

  • Shawna Nicole

    I think I get it, you take the picture and put funny captions underneath it? This one is pretty funny then! But still, what is up with the name? Lol

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Quinoa has been around long enough to know that you never show up to a play date for the first time without your own lighting. #MIWDTD

  • Mindy Cohen

    Has her hair been styled to help the installers position the lights?

  • Cat Herdr

    Nice boots!

  • Indigo Retro

    Quinoa also apparently knows sclera contact lenses are the ultimate accessory. Pinhead-couture is TOTALLY going to be a thing, and she is on the bleeding edge.

  • Myriam Bostwick

    She learned that from her great-aunt Maleficent, who incidentally styled her hair!

  • Sylvie Berger

    Quinoa already prepares her next Halloween costume: a hybrid between Lewis Caroll's bunny, her ineffable Alice and Pipi Longstockings - thus the hair kabobs for rabbit ears, reminding Pipi's braids, the bell-shaped blue skirt reminiscent of Alice’s usual dress and the boots worn with striped socks. Also, as you can see, Quinoa already thinks about the winter celebrations, with the huge Christmas balls. Because careful and farsighted planning is very important to Quinoa!

Quinoa's friend Orzo always seems so laid back at play dates. You know, once he finishes covering all the walls in butcher paper. #MIWDTD

Brands - kid's wear - department

kidswear-department.com
  • Ethel Mohr

    The ultimate neutral. Timeless!

  • Kelley

    The Mommy Minder League of Au Pairs only became concerned when he kept insisting on meeting in rooms with drains in the floor and plastic sheeting and using slang from 1940's Gangster movies. A sternly worded Instagram was quickly dispatched to his Past Life Regression Therapist to intervene.

  • Nicole Neal

    Holy crap, Kelley! That is awesome!

  • Amy Callaman

    XD ^ Kelley

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One time Quinoa made the mistake of going to a public beach. #MIWDTD

Colección invierno > Minimoda.es

minimoda.es
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It's Quinoa's Book Birthday! How to Quinoa: Life Lessons from My Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter is in bookstores NOW! All new photos plus ten hilarious chapters! If you love the Quinoa Pinterest feed, you'll love the book even more! (And if you love the book, please consider writing an Amazon review.) XOXO, Tiffany (Quinoa's mom) #MIWDTD

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And for the final phase of their conscious unpairing, Quinoa and Boursin took a series of forlorn-resignation photos to release with their statement to the media. #MIWDTD

Moda infantil > Minimoda.es

minimoda.es
  • Kimber Widmer

    It was time for a break up. Boursin always seemed a bit cheesy to me.

  • Maia Y

    Indeed. Quinoa and Boursin is a combination that could never have worked. She'd be much better off with Kale or Açai.

  • Tessa Just Tessa

    Quinoa keeps possession of windblown hair in the separation decree.

  • Stephanie

    Conscious unpairing is a more palatable phrase than conscious uncoupling. Bleck.

  • Sylvie Berger

    Boursin!!! Hahahaha!!! BOURSIN!!!!!!! You are unbelievable!!! Hihihihihi!!!

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Quinoa is expected to have a full recovery, but will need to wear a Dahlia-Hydrangea neck brace for three to four more weeks. #MIWDTD

A Day by the Dark Floral: Alexandrena Parker |

lapetitemag.com
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Quinoa and her friends Paraffin and Humira had the most amazing time competing in the Junior Despondent Society Pageant. #MIWDTD

Mischka Aoki stunning summer girls dresses for spring 2014

smudgetikka.com
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Sometimes Quinoa's BFF Chevron is so difficult at play dates. First, she brought the wrong gauge of tulle for the ethereal backdrop, and then she blatantly disregarded the gold lamé, peacock silk and gilded head wreath dress code. #MIWDTD

Dreamy kids shoot for Enfant Terribles magazine

smudgetikka.com
  • Jennie Stevens

    The things Quinoa has to put up with! She's a saint!

  • Holly Davis

    Chevron, no one is perfect! You keep trying your best, and maybe Quinoa will come around.

  • Camille Flynn

    I agree, chevron needs to prioritize and get her shit together

  • Tina Stone

    It's hard for Chevron to prioritize what should be TRULY important when she's secretly in love with Boursin. Poor thing...as if That could ever happen.

  • Sylvie Berger

    But you don't understand Chevron... How devoid of compassion you are! Don't you understand she wants to raise birds? She can't understand how Quinoa can wear a nest in her hair and remain so indifferent to those lovely chirping creatures!

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The How to Quinoa books are beginning to arrive! Order yours if you haven't already from your favorite bookseller! #MIWDTD

  • Tiffany Beveridge

    Jess, yes, they were excited. I had a great time working with the photographers.

  • Jess

    Fantastic! Best of luck! :)

  • Stephanie Gramacki

    I was wondering if you had new photos made for tge

  • Stephanie Gramacki

    Omg, tablet freezing! ...for the book. That's awesome. Bet you got really creative and funny. Can't wait to read it.

  • Shawna Nicole

    Someone please tell me what is up with the name?! I'm loving the pictures and want this book!

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