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Annual Instant Gratification Zero-mile Fun Run - Runners to your mark. Get set. Go!... OK, come get your t-shirts

Funny Instant Gratification Fun Run

cuz he don't give a sh**

Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in a cafeteria at a Mental Hospital.

Life is all about Ass. You're either covering it, laughing it off, kissing it, kicking it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, acting like one or living with one.

Penny for your thoughts... a hundred bucks to keep them to yourself.

Congratulations on your huge tax return after sitting on your ass all year long. Now you can pretend like you're not white trash for a few weeks.

Sometimes I look at the random crap I post on Facebook and I think damn, I am so bipolar.

Its not procrastinating if your drinking coffee, its procaffinating.

I can tell by the way you park your car that I hate you.

Pintercepted: When you are just about to do something, but decide to check Pinterest for a quick second...which turns into an hour-and-a-half. (by

Every freaking day.

That's funny shit LMAO