Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't fuck it up like you did last year and the year before that.
I'm glad he left before I woke up, I don't want to remember anything about last night.
The fine line between a smile and my foot in your ass is thiscup of coffee.
This Christmas I've decided to put a Mistletoe in my back pocket so that all the people I don't like can kiss my ass.