Funny

Saved by
LaSally LaSalle

Hahaha, funny...

Saved by
LaSally LaSalle

Hahaha, has this ever happened to you!!

Saved from
milyvicente2.blogspot.com

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you Determine whether or not an older person should be put in an Care Home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a Teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the Bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you Want a bed near the window?"

Saved from
breakforbuzz.com

A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done,shegoes to the Kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. "Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say ‘hello’?”

Saved from
thefucomics.com

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, So, how's your breakfast this morning?" It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

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joyerickson.wordpress.com

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."

Saved by
LaSally LaSalle

A woman was very nervous about her first date with a man she'd been attracted to for a long time. When he came to her door, she started to feel gassy and realized the chilli she'd had for lunch had been a bad idea. Being a gentlemen, he carefully put her in the car and shut the door for her, as he walked around to his side, she farted loudly and quickly opened the window and began fanning. She was horrified when he got in and pointed to the back seat saying "Have you met Ruth and Bob?"

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gifsdomi.com

MEN!!!! A young man bought an expensive piece of jewelry as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you want her name engraved on it?” asked the clerk. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the realistic, steadfastly replied, “No, just engrave it: To My One and Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again.”

Saved from
sophlylaughing.blogspot.com

The mother father and baby tomato was walking and the baby tomato wouldn't keep up. So the mother asked the father to tell their baby tomato to keep up with them.So the father tomato hit the baby tomato in the head and said........... Ketchup!!

Saved from
forum.xcitefun.net

Husband and wife had a cold war for few days. However, to minimise the trouble husband asked the wife for a long drive along the country side. Music were on but a complete silent was prevailing in the car. The husband was driving, and the wife was looking out side with an indifferent gesture. Suddenly the husband found that the wife was looking towards some cows grazing in the green field. He took the opportunity to make the situation lighter and asked the wife " Relative of yours?" The wife...

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hubpages.com

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the...

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horseclipart.com

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be THE Man of Your House.' Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is the 'Law.' You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, bring it to me, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear the dishes and serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner you are going to draw me a b...

Saved from
clipartpanda.com

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in New York to say hello to his friends. Giovanni said: "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treepa?" Luigi said: "Everytinga wasa perfecto except for da traina ride down." "Whata you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni. "Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station. My beautiful Virginia, she pack a biga basket a food. "She broughta vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were looking a forward to ...

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hubpages.com

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is sex?" The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looki...

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animatiewinkel.crazy4us.com

Here's a safety brief for you. Be careful what you wear (or don't wear), when working under your vehicle...especially in public. True story: From the Sydney Morning Herald Australia comes this story of a central west couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pa...

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clipartpanda.com

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!" The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!" The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell is.... Molasses!!!

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eco-perivoli.gr

A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane...... The lady said to him ' Can you help me remove something from my breast please? ‘The exciting young man replied, 'Wow! It will be my pleasure....... So what is it?' "Your Eyes, idiot!"

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hubpages.com

Pay Back Time-- When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. . . I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied, "OH yes! I remember." Hehehe..

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123rf.com

77-year-old Morris went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Cohen said, "Morris everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with yourself, and have a good relationship with God?" Morris replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, *poof*...the light goes on when I go to the bathroom and then *poof* the light goes off!" "Wow," commented Dr. Co...

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LaSally LaSalle

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams . Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.' The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams . 'Oh my Goodness,' says the old lady, 'now ...

Saved by
LaSally LaSalle

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line...

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haathse.com

A father was very anxious to marry off his daughter so he wanted tried impress her first date. "Do you like to screw?" he asks. "Huh?!" replied the surprised young man. "My daughter, she loves to screw and she's very good at it. You and she should go screw." carefully explained the father. Now very interested, the boy replied, "Yes, sir!" Minutes later the girl came down the stairs, kissed her father goodbye and the couple left. After only a few minutes she reappeared, f...

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ps261.org

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy."

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LaSally LaSalle

A family went to a hospital, where one of their relatives would be having a brain transplant. One of the relatives asked, "What will the cost of a new brain be?" The doctor replied, "A female brain costs $25,000 and a male brain costs $50,000." The men smirked, but one of the females asked, "Why is that, doctor?" "Well," the doctor replied,” the female brain is less because it has been used." :0)

Saved by
LaSally LaSalle