Bless me with patience... Not opportunities to be patient, I've had plenty of those and they don't seem to be working. The actual patience...

Bless me with patience... Not opportunities to be patient, I've had plenty of those and they don't seem to be working. The actual patience...

People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room. It's called arson and those people are called witnesses.

People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room. It's called arson and those people are called witnesses.

I hate when people tell me to calm down! Like no dude! I'm going to freak out instead!

I hate when people tell me to calm down! Like no dude! I'm going to freak out instead!

I need to get in shape. If I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle.

40 Of The Funniest Quotes Ever

40 Of The Funniest Quotes Ever

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