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Anonymous Confessions from Whisper


Anonymous Confessions from Whisper

  • 828 Pins

"I am an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it badly enough that it's not funny anymore"

I am an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it badly enough that it's not funny anymore

whisper.sh

"what i do when i like a customer ;)"

"I would just like to publicly announce that I have no idea what I'm doing"

I would just like to publicly announce that I have no idea what I'm doing

whisper.sh

"Sometimes I "propose" to my girlfriend with a ring pop to embarrass her in public. This Thursday, we are going to the beach. This time it won't be a ring pop"

Sometimes I "propose" to my girlfriend with a ring pop to embarrass her in public. This Thursday, we are going to the beach. This time it won't be a ring pop

whisper.sh

"My problem is I can never stay mad. I always end up forgiving people even when they don't deserve it."

My problem is I can never stay mad. I always end up forgiving people even when they don't deserve it.

whisper.sh

"When someone asks me how much I weigh, I reply, "One hundred and sexy!""

When someone asks me how much I weigh, I reply, "One hundred and sexy!"

whisper.sh

"I wish the Disney princesses were more like me..."

I wish the Disney princesses were more like me...

whisper.sh

"Omg I HATE when kids scream in public... You have no real problems. It should be me screaming. ME"

Omg I HATE when kids scream in public... You have no real problems. It should be me screaming. ME

whisper.sh

"I'm fluent in 6 languages: profanity, music lyrics, movie quotes, sarcasm, sexual innuendos, and gossip."

I'm fluent in 6 languages: profanity, music lyrics, movie quotes, sarcasm, sexual innuendos, and gossip.

whisper.sh

"Tried to tell my son Santa was bringing him a brother or sister for Christmas this year. He told me he would rather just have a new bike"

Tried to tell my son Santa was bringing him a brother or sister for Christmas this year. He told me he would rather just have a new bike 

whisper.sh

"I find it offensive when cashiers look at money like it's fake. If I knew how to make counterfeit money, I'd be doing wilder shit than coming to Starbucks."

I find it offensive when cashiers look at money like it's fake. If I knew how to make counterfeit money, I'd be doing wilder shit than coming to Starbucks.

whisper.sh

"Walking to practice today in my baseball pants, I got the chance to say something to a girl I've always wanted to say:"My eyes are up here""

Walking to practice today in my baseball pants, I got the chance to say something to a girl I've always wanted to say: "My eyes are up here"

whisper.sh

"a drunk girl came over for sex last night. i took her to my bed, tucked her in, and slept on the couch. real men don't take advantage."

a drunk girl came over for sex last night. i took her to my bed, tucked her in, and slept on the couch. real men don't take advantage.

whisper.sh
  • Katie Hesketh
    Katie Hesketh

    In glad some men are like this :)

"I'm 25 and I took a girl on a date here last night. If you can't embrace your inner child you can't be with me."

I'm 25 and I took a girl on a date here last night. If you can't embrace your inner child you can't be with me.

whisper.sh

"He always asks me to sit on his lap But I'm afraid I'm too heavy"

He always asks me to sit on his lap But I'm afraid I'm too heavy

whisper.sh

"I want a guy who buys me tacos and slaps my butt, with a jawline stronger than my wifi"

I want a guy who buys me tacos and slaps my butt, with a jawline stronger than my wifi

whisper.sh

"When I was a kid, I wished time would speed up. Now older, and a dad, I wish it would slow down. "

When I was a kid, I wished time would speed up. Now older, and a dad, I wish it would slow down.

whisper.sh

"I hate it when someone walks behind me on the stairs. I feel like they're silently judging my ass."

I hate it when someone walks behind me on the stairs. I feel like they're silently judging my ass.

whisper.sh

"My superpower: The ability to avoid true feelings and relationships through sarcasm and acting distant "

My superpower: The ability to avoid true feelings and relationships through sarcasm and acting distant

whisper.sh

"When I get complimented I immediately think they're lying and begin to feel extremely uncomfortable "

When I get complimented I immediately think they're lying and begin to feel extremely uncomfortable

whisper.sh

"I still wake up everyday hoping it'll be the day I discover I have magical powers."

I still wake up everyday hoping it'll be the day I discover I have magical powers.

whisper.sh

"None of my friends understand that I'd rather sit at home and read a book then go out and party."

None of my friends understand that I'd rather sit at home and read a book then go out and party.

whisper.sh

"My appetite can either be described as supermodel with a photoshoot the next day or eating competition contestant. There is no in between."

My appetite can either be described as supermodel with a photoshoot the next day or eating competition contestant. There is no in between.

whisper.sh

"It doesn't matter what gender you are I'm calling you "dude". Deal with it."

It doesn't matter what gender you are I'm calling you "dude". Deal with it.

whisper.sh

"All I want is an apt in a city and a decent job, a dog, wifi and a tv, and someone to have sex with"

All I want is an apt in a city and a decent job, a dog, wifi and a tv, and someone to have sex with

whisper.sh