Pray for those, bless those, do good to those, even if they are hard to be around, sometimes its "self" that puts up the wall and barriers, but if you pray and release that, God will work in your most inner insecurities, He is there to help you, not harm you.... Hebrews 4
This has been a hard lesson. It takes two. I have found I'm often harder on the one I love when I'm down myself. I have fixed this in my life. I can admit I'm wrong. I value my relationship more than my personal ego.