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Dolly Parton. Not only did she come from poverty to become a gazillionaire, but she's also big into charity and she's a genuinely nice person.

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Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall butt, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, and the arms of Michelle Obama. The only person close to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling. - Tina

“The formula of happiness and success is just, being actually yourself, in the most vivid possible way you can.” —Meryl Streep

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