Continuance to essential question: On the other hand Patria was holding herself back because Jamito did not let her associate with her sisters because of the revolution. So in the meantime Patria was not sure what she wanted nor did she know who she was.
Pick what you want to do with your time - choose what you love with who you love. Say no to whatever you don't want. Its ok. The only people who would be mad at you for this are the ones who don't have the balls to do the same things for themselves.
Pay attention to your pain... go thru, not around nor under, be kind to self, don't medicate,w/ to much food, no drugs, jump into relationships, workalholic, etc, have courage & investigate your issues...go deep but off deep end occasionally, forgive self
And you criticize your own life because you have forgotten about the price you paid to get to where You are today. You get to where you need to and forget your roots, your strength. Never take anything for granted and always remember who you are