More like three times! I lock up my car, I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know I mean business.

Pack your bags, we’re going on a guilt trip. (Magnet on sale at Etsy.

Hahahahahaha.

Petting chart for your cat and dog…

Funny pictures about Petting chart for your cat and dog. Oh, and cool pics about Petting chart for your cat and dog. Also, Petting chart for your cat and dog.

I'm glad everyone is having such a delightful day walking slow as fuck in front of me. STORY OF MY LIFE!

Other than work, I don't leave my house, and that's getting more difficult! I hate people!

It's seriously the ONLY thing I hate about the South in the Summer!

Yep, the way i feel these days and extroverted/ introvert, confusing but real! ♡♡♡I am an introvert.

Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut the fuck up even when they aren't talking? ALL THE TIME!

As I approach my household from a heavy night of drinking:

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Funny Ecards-tupperwhere the fuck is the fucking lid? So true!

Free and Funny News Ecard: I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your vagina.

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