“Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.”   -Tina Fey, Bossypants

dropyouranchors: “sierrakkusterbeck: ““ “Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall.

Ace Ventura pet detective

Ace Ventura Pet Detective Costume

This is me (Finkle), my Husband (Marino), and my son (Ace Ventura). I knew we wanted to dress our son in something funny so I looked up the top 100 funniest movies and ran into Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. I knew he could pull it. Photo 3 of

Written for me :)

I don't know about you but I've feeling Unless we stay out past 10 pm. Then I'm like, "Nope, I'm ECARD Haha my life!

sippy cups!

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? That's about what it would take for me to attend a princess party.

I try not to worry about the future- so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time

I try not to worry about the future- so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time.pretty much my life right now

Ok, this is funny! A bit creepy too...Got to love your bod!

Best ultrasound picture ever. Look, they're expecting a baby. and a cat. Omg about died laughing!

Yes

Because Asking A Girl To Marry You In A Photo Booth Is Way More Romantic Than In Front Of Your Computer

Buster's photobooth moment with a sheep. From Arrested Development. I know nothing about Buster but I love sheep!

Tee Hee, it's been a good run HIMYM

Lilly: "Squirrels don't get married Marshall." Marshall: "Like you could…

and even when they're not...

I do this when one of my family members are driving ! Even with the hubby ! That's why I rather drive bc I have totally control of the beak pedal :)

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