the defibrillator toaster...my mom would be so annoyed…every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming, “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!” “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CCs OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” He’s bread, Jim. Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M. If we don’t restart his heart, he’s toast! JESUS CRUST. JAM IT! “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.” I pinned this for the description.

the defibrillator toaster...my mom would be so annoyed…every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming, “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!” “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CCs OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” He’s bread, Jim. Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M. If we don’t restart his heart, he’s toast! JESUS CRUST. JAM IT! “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.” I pinned this for the description.

Every time.

Parenting--sometimes you need to laugh at yourself {Quotable Mondays}


More ideas
FIRST TIME MOM & DAD!: Life With Kids Vs. Without (Best of 2013 Series!)

FIRST TIME MOM & DAD!: Life With Kids Vs. Without (Best of 2013 Series!)

What It’s Like to Cook Dinner Without Your Kids Vs. With Your Kids | More LOLs & Funny Stuff for Moms | NickMom

What It’s Like to Cook Dinner Without Your Kids Vs. With Your Kids | More LOLs & Funny Stuff for Moms | NickMom

I don't have kids, but I am pretty sure this is accurate. A day at the beach before kids VS. after kids.

Yup.

I don't have kids, but I am pretty sure this is accurate. A day at the beach before kids VS. after kids.

Sometimes, your kids' questions prompt only one answer. Check out 'Are You Seriously Asking Me That? Seriously?', a funny graphic only on NickMom.com!

Sometimes, your kids' questions prompt only one answer. Check out 'Are You Seriously Asking Me That? Seriously?', a funny graphic only on NickMom.com!

A hilarious cartoon about talking on the phone - with and without kids :)

A hilarious cartoon about talking on the phone - with and without kids :)

Oh good, other people's kids play with the sugar and stack jelly packets, too.  Phew.  Thought we were the only ones.

LOOK: Eating Out With Kids vs. Without Kids

Oh good, other people's kids play with the sugar and stack jelly packets, too. Phew. Thought we were the only ones.

I'm sending Ryan an invite to the wedding so he can see my mason jar craftiness!

I'm sending Ryan an invite to the wedding so he can see my mason jar craftiness!

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