True story.

when I was a baby, an evil fairy cursed with me expensive taste and no money. Champagne taste with a beer budget!

delish

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: I'm eating my feelings and they taste delicious.

...the script people.......c'mon!

read the script people! This so me control freak lord I am aweful.

hahahahaha

Sometimes, the amount of self-control it takes to not say what's on my mind is so immense I need a nap afterward.I do occasionally practice self control!

yup!!

All I really want is a high paying job that lets me wear yoga pants and hoodies to work & only makes me work 4 days a week.I kinda do have this job.no yoga pants and the pay, well.

fo sho

Funny Confession Ecard: I always say what I mean. I may not always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. Horrible about doing this, need to use the filter option more often!

Princess

Funny Confession Ecard: I'm pretty sure I was supposed to be a princess. No, seriously. Someone better fix this shit.

Butt seriously tho

Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass. (But seriously tho) Oh this is so true.

True story!

"Outta the way world. I've got my sassy pants on today. mallorca I think your Tron-pants would be equivalent to sassy pants.

My life!

Free and Funny Flirting Ecard: No seriously. Don't mistake my perky phone voice for actually liking you. I get paid to be nice to jerk wads like you.

Translation is everything.

Free, Confession Ecard: If being sarcastic burned calories I would be one skinny bitch.

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