Becky Holland

Becky Holland

myfaithinmyadventure.com.au
Armidale NSW / Wife, mother, writer and lover of words and books
Becky Holland
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A token Now, yet again, like full circle I sit by Eleanor’s bed. I’ve nothing to hold, I outwardly profess hope but my heart hears the chatter, the reality and the truth. It seems to process faster and it realises these moments of loss are the last of many moments never to be held again except in memory, forever eternal. The room has one window a flame tree stands out among the many hospital buildings. The machines attached to Eleanor holding her life are many and I place a mental block on…

2 I needed something to hold just like when Eleanor had her first major brain surgery. To by holding onto something I felt I wasn’t drowning, I could breathe but at first I would hold a pen flickering it between my fingers over and …

Toddler man - It’s in the wind  The windows tremble  The house shakes  Curtains shift  The lightning hits the walls  Creating shapes and forms

Toddler man - It’s in the wind The windows tremble The house shakes Curtains shift The lightning hits the walls Creating shapes and forms

Hands of kindness Shoulders low  Strength within me failing  Heart dragging  Tears lost but longing to be free  How can I bear this?  How can I live through such sorrow?  And fill the hollow that continues to grow     As I fall or is it drown?  A hand reaches for me,  And one by one more appear and they bring me a treasure,

Diary of an ICU Mum - Wednesday night - My Faith In My Adventure

Special Needs Children: Tips for Starting School Successfully - Mum Central

Holding hands I sat holding your hand when I couldn’t hold you.     Holding you close is all I ever wanted  Holding you to hear your heart beat seconds after you were born  Instead, you lay motionless with tubes attached and strangers caring for you  Hours before I could see you  I also lay tubes attached holding your hand reminding you I carried you for nine months

Holding Hands I wrote this for Eleanor… I sat holding your hand when I couldn’t hold you. Holding you close is all I ever wanted Holding you …

I’m still in the world I run, one foot in front of the other, the sun warms me, my heart rate rises. I love the exhilaration, the feeling of freedom and my mind focusing on the beat of running, every other care in the world locked out for a short time in my day and my music helping me unwind. My heart isn’t in it today; the load is too heavy. The desire to sit on the couch losing myself in Netflix, anything but the way I feel.

I’m still in the world I run, one foot in front of the other, the sun warms me, my heart rate rises. I love the exhilaration, the feeling of freedom and my mind focusing on the beat of running, every other care in the world locked out for a short time in my day and my music helping me unwind. My heart isn’t in it today; the load is too heavy. The desire to sit on the couch losing myself in Netflix, anything but the way I feel.

In that conversation - In that conversation  I remember remaining calm  Wanting to be strong  While my world collapsed  Knowing from this moment  It all changed  I’d never be the same

In that conversation - In that conversation I remember remaining calm Wanting to be strong While my world collapsed Knowing from this moment It all changed I’d never be the same

I am lost The last day of 2016 it is the last time I can say I was with Eleanor this year, this month. We travelled here and there. I held her hand 3 weeks and one day ago. I felt her heart beat and I kissed her cheeks in this month and in this year but time is not my friend and it moves and twists and twirls.

3 The last day of 2016 it is the last time I can say I was with Eleanor this year, this month. We travelled here and there. I held her hand 3 weeks and one day ago. I felt her heart beat and I kissed her cheeks in this month and in this year but …

The May Shadow’s I’m sure I walked beside my May shadow watching on, knowing I had no idea what the future held but wishing I could whisper a secret of treasuring, savoring and embracing these moments and more in the coming months, to focus on just being together. I wept for what had been, for what I didn’t know and was yet to come. I wept because the love I have runs so deep I wanted to leave because it hurt too much but staying gave me this window to the past that was ever so precious. The…

The May Shadow’s I’m sure I walked beside my May shadow watching on, knowing I had no idea what the future held but wishing I could whisper a secret of treasuring, savoring and embracing these moments and more in the coming months, to focus on just being together. I wept for what had been, for what I didn’t know and was yet to come. I wept because the love I have runs so deep I wanted to leave because it hurt too much but staying gave me this window to the past that was ever so precious. The…

The passage of time - he flowers die which was inevitable and the last of the family leave. Another change, another sign that life goes on. Leaving us at three, but four in heart. The sun shines, the clouds change, birds sing, shoppers look for open Cafes and shops. The washing needs doing, life goes on but shouldn’t it stop even for a moment to be frozen in time because Eleanor is gone. Life goes on, every second, every minute, every hour, turning into days and that ache, the tight feeling…

The passage of time - My Faith In My Adventure

Seeking light The night was long, the sort of night where light can’t come soon enough and with a sick toddler, the waking and dozing sleep send dreams to wreak havoc on every fear and doubt that is inside me. Though with daylight approaching, the now all to familiar feeling of melancholy returns.

Seeking light - My Faith In My Adventure