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  • 30 Pins

I miss hating the summer heat

I won't be spending Valentine's Day alone because I'll be with my bottle of wine.

Before calling me, ask yourself "Is this textable?"


Poorly said.

Pomeranian walks around on hind legs for two days in protest of bad haircut.

Thank you for saying bless you even after my third consecutive sneeze.

The hour we lose this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.

May your fireworks help ward off evil spirits and not cause my dog to unleash his bowels all over my apartment.

It takes twice as long for me to not get anything done on Monday as it does the rest of the week.

Just wanted to warn you that tomorrow may set records for people talking about the weather.

In solidarity with our elected officials, I vow that no work will get done in my presence this week.

Mondays are the most irritating day of the week after every other day of the week.

Better Like Button: Like (except for the typos).

for real!!!

I can't believe it's almost time to put off the things I didn't do this summer until next summer.

Why non-cat lovers should speak clearly when ordering a graduation cake with a cap on it.

The most embarrassing instances of people shamefully misidentifying a Facebook photo.

Not wanting to scare my dog is the perfect excuse for never vacuuming my house.

Photo of toddler perfectly encapsulates the devastating effect of a trip to IKEA on the human body.

At least not having an office window means youll never know how nice it is outside.