WORD....If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it fall, I really don't give a shit.
I wish my nipples were half as sensitive as my Facebook friends.
I'm too horny to be in public.
I feel sorry for myself having to hear about how sorry you feel for yourself.
You always cease to amaze me.
I lose track of how many times a day I'd like to turn to someone and say 'you can't seriously be this freaking stupid!'
I would say 'get on my level' but I'm so fucking awesome, it wouldn't be fair to set you up for failure.
You make me wish I had more middle fingers.
I even postpone procrastination.