Now you understand why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up.

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I am a nonprofit unicorn

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Relax. Nothing is under control.

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Coconut oil

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Brain: Go fuck yourself!

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I'm going to hell in every religion.

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I officially resign from adulthood.

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I need a seriously good fucking from something other than life.

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I love sweater season

ioanna on Instagram: “#Repost @sarcasm_only ⠀”

instagram.com

Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down.

Ethan Nichtern on Instagram: “This is also true of those moments you tell yourself to calm down.”

instagram.com

Yeah...about that..

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Finally shaved my legs

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Jimmy Fallon

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The real face I'm making when I type "hahahahahaha" in a text.

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funny valentines cards

21 Funny Valentine's Day Cards | Pleated-Jeans.com

pleated-jeans.com

The trouble with trouble is, it starts out as fun.

Ben's Garden 'The Trouble With' Coaster Set | Nordstrom

rstyle.me

You're still a rockstar I whisper to myself as I take my multivitamin & climb in bed at 9.45.

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Almost every time!

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The only resolution I haven't broken is the one about not working too hard.

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First of all...

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I can get ready in five minutes - I just need an hour to do that.

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Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.

Huge list of funny birthday messages and wishes

birthdaywishes.expert

Have the day you deserve.

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