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Funny Quotes


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Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

  • 794 Pins

I paid my psychiatrist to follow me on facebook..

This happens every time!

I love you with all my butt, I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we ate.

There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Karma's about to give you a great big kiss!

Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.

I don't understand why you pay a shrink. I'll tell you what's wrong with you for free.

Me? Crazy?

Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here.

GO SELL CRAZY SOMEWHERE ELSE WE'RE ALL STOCKED UP HERE

quickmeme.com

How's that working out?

I thought 2015 was going to be my year but clearly that ship has sailed.

Ha Ha Ha!

  • Koraly Ash
    Koraly Ash

    That's hilarious!!!!!!

Sometimes all you need is someone to hold you and say "It's going to be okay. You're beautiful. Here, have $10 million."

We will probably never understand black holes. Or why women fall madly in love with douchbags.

I'm gonna go fuck shit up...You comin???

It's been one of those days for like 3 years now.

I'm not trying to say that you're fat..

I do not burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.

It's all mind over matter. If I don't mind, it doesn't matter.

You aren't human haha

I don't like morning people, or mornings..or people.

Cry me a river

Holding grudges

19 Anna Kendrick Tweets Worthy of Inspirational Poster Treatment

dose.com