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Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

  • 794 Pins

I paid my psychiatrist to follow me on facebook..

This happens every time!

I love you with all my butt, I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we ate.

There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Karma's about to give you a great big kiss!

Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.

I don't understand why you pay a shrink. I'll tell you what's wrong with you for free.

Me? Crazy?

Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here.


How's that working out?

I thought 2015 was going to be my year but clearly that ship has sailed.

Ha Ha Ha!

  • Koraly Ash
    Koraly Ash

    That's hilarious!!!!!!

Sometimes all you need is someone to hold you and say "It's going to be okay. You're beautiful. Here, have $10 million."

We will probably never understand black holes. Or why women fall madly in love with douchbags.

I'm gonna go fuck shit up...You comin???

It's been one of those days for like 3 years now.

I'm not trying to say that you're fat..

I do not burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.

It's all mind over matter. If I don't mind, it doesn't matter.

You aren't human haha

I don't like morning people, or mornings..or people.

Cry me a river

Holding grudges

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