Funny Quotes


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Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

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Everything I like is either expensive, fattening or won't text me back.

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Write that bitch a sonnet. Bitches love sonnets.

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Just fat

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I'd jump up and down for joy, but my boobs are just way too big for that nonsense.

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I paid my psychiatrist to follow me on facebook..

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This happens every time!

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I love you with all my butt, I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.

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Farts are just the ghosts of the things we ate.

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There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.

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Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

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Karma's about to give you a great big kiss!

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Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.

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I don't understand why you pay a shrink. I'll tell you what's wrong with you for free.

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Me? Crazy?

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Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here.

GO SELL CRAZY SOMEWHERE ELSE WE'RE ALL STOCKED UP HERE

quickmeme.com

How's that working out?

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  • Elma Esteria
    Elma Esteria

    Fine

I thought 2015 was going to be my year but clearly that ship has sailed.

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Ha Ha Ha!

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  • Koraly Ash
    Koraly Ash

    That's hilarious!!!!!!

Sometimes all you need is someone to hold you and say "It's going to be okay. You're beautiful. Here, have $10 million."

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We will probably never understand black holes. Or why women fall madly in love with douchbags.

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I'm gonna go fuck shit up...You comin???

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It's been one of those days for like 3 years now.

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I'm not trying to say that you're fat..

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I do not burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.

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It's all mind over matter. If I don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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