The Defibrillator Toaster    My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”    “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”    He’s bread, Jim.    Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M    If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!     JESUS CRUST.    JAM IT!    “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”    --i pinned this simply for the description.

The Defibrillator Toaster My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!” “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” He’s bread, Jim. Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! JESUS CRUST. JAM IT! “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.” --i pinned this simply for the description.

hahaha omg this is hilarious

How girls react when they get that special text…

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