sad, but true lol...

Yes! I hate checking my voicemail! And I generally hate talking on the phone!

trust me, you can dance -vodka

Trust Vodka funny party dance drunk lol vodka alcohol funny humor funny quote funny quotes--I have heard this lie before

DIY: I think I need to make some of these.

End your hectic day by drowning out your troubles with help from the rough day wine glass. The novelty design helps you gauge how much wine to serve depending on whether you’ve had an easy day, rough day, or a “don’t even ask” type of day.

Ha ha

I am fluent in three languages.English, Sarcasm, and Profanity. Funny Sayings and Pictures: The Languages I Speak ('Funny Status')

#Quotes

this is so true around my husband. I always laugh harder at him laughing than I do at what was funny to begin with. I love him!

A friend told me I was delusional. I almost fell off of my unicorn.

Funny Friendship Ecard: A friend told me I was delusional. I almost fell off of my unicorn.

true

Today's modern woman * Clean house * Healthy dinner on the table (at dinnertime) * Fit, trim & well-groomed * Works full time * Laundry done & put away * Great sex life * . pick any two

I hope to God that's Batman.

Goldfish in bathtub with cat's shadow above. Goldfish hope it's batman, ha!

Haha, my kind of valentine

Roses are red. Foxes are clever. I like your butt, let me touch it forever so gonna make this for hubby's valentines card

Yep..lol

When I bang my toe against something, its like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know. A Cursing Button.

Karma

Funny-Quotes-and-Sayings-about-Life-and-Friendship-Wall-Stickers-Decals-for-Bedroom-Wall-Decorating-Ideas.

Teaching- the only profession where you have to do more work to call in sick than if you just suffered through it. AMEN

Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact.

Definitely how I feel today...

Whan I at kid, I wanted be older. This shit is not What I expected, unexpected Whan I at kid wanted be older This shit is not What expected

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