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You guys, Stralya is worried about us.

America's Gun Problem Is So Bad Even Australians Are Scared

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The Top 116 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped

"That looks like the frosty cap of King Neptune's Atlantean beer stein. ... In reality, what you're looking at is a dust storm developing near Onslow, Australia." (via 'The Top 116 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped') #Terrifying #Nightmare #BeerDisaster

The Top 116 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped

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20 Shocking Lyrics You Didn't Notice in Famous Songs

They're all constantly throwing up, according to their national anthem or whatever.

20 Shocking Lyrics You Didn't Notice in Famous Songs

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Melbourne

Even the koalas are out to get you. STAY FAR AWAY

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A Brief History of the Most Terrifying Animal on Earth

Cassowaries kill people, and we have the animated video to prove it.

A Brief History of the Most Terrifying Animal on Earth

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The 5 Most Shockingly Awful Names Major Cities Almost Had

Melbourne was almost named "Batmania", but the Aussies went with a non-Batman name because in the end they don't care about other people.

The 5 Most Shockingly Awful Names Major Cities Almost Had

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7 Iconic Skylines That Almost Looked Ridiculous

Not worth the risk.

7 Iconic Skylines That Almost Looked Ridiculous

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6 Myths About Famous Places You Believe (Thanks to Movies)

Bet you didn't know Australia, on top of it all, also has HORRIBLE WINTERS (in parts of it).

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4 Terrifying Children's Hobbies From Around the World

That's how kids play in Australia. If your kid isn't up to wrestling gators, DON'T BRING THEM THERE.

4 Terrifying Children's Hobbies From Around the World

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8 Humans Whose Eating Habits Would Make a Goat Puke

Charles Darwin taste-tested every animal he discovered. It's like how Darwin, Australia (or any other place in Australia) will chew you up and spit you out if you go there.

8 Humans Whose Eating Habits Would Make a Goat Puke

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The 94 Most Badass Soldiers Who Ever Lived

The Outback is like this picture but with scary animals and less available gasoline. #Australia

Australian Outback

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Barney's Beanery

It's a bar that has food. Even more importantly, IT IS NOWHERE NEAR AUSTRALIA

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The 5 Most Embarrassing Failures in the History of War

Australia's army once tried to fight a war against emus. The army lost. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR CHANCES WOULD BE?

The 5 Most Embarrassing Failures in the History of War

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The 5 Weirdest Side Effects of Moving to a New Country

Cracked contributor Alli Reed moved to Sydney and hated it. Like, HATED IT hated it.

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Townsville

There are around a dozen shark attacks in Australia per year. That's a dozen too many.

The Animals That Make Australia The Deathtrap It Is

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Cooktown

The saltwater crocodile: Australian, deadly, and depicted here with only very minor Photoshopping.

The Animals That Make Australia The Deathtrap It Is

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