CrazyUS

[Be warned: Not only did we cover a lot of physical territory on our return flight, my words here are all over the map!] It is 6:30 AM. We are on the last leg of our epic adventure, traveling on an Alaska Airlines flight from Seattle to Salt Lake City. The sun is shining through the window bright. I am sitting in seat 17A. The middle seats are empty, and our family has the entire row. Seconds ago I stole my neck pillow back. I feel a little guilty. Dave really seemed comfortable. Over the…

Moments ago I sat in the orthodontist’s office. My oldest son was getting his braces off. His braces came off easily. “Do you plan on keeping your wisdom teeth?” The dental assistant asked him. “Yes.” We both replied. “Well, they are coming in straight. So I say why not.” She responded and continued, “I just want to make sure we get this right and it is hard to get impressions of wisdom teeth. They are so far back.” After five tries, they were (finally) able to get the right teeth…

The other day I took both boys to the orthodontist. Kyle usually drives himself, but his car was in the shop. I had just returned from the dentist. I had two fillings — both related to clenching my teeth. It was lunchtime and the waiting room was clearing out. As I sat in the orthodontist’s office all numb-mouthed, the orthodontist’s wife, who also manages the offices, came up to talk with me. “Beth, you Adams’ have had quite a year. How are you all doing?” She asked. “Yes. We have. With…

FADE IN: Flight from Munich, Germany to Chicago, Illinois I noticed my phone was almost dead and my adapter was gone. Dave was sleeping. I woke him so I could scold him for taking our one remaining charger. It is mine. He looked at me groggy-eyed and said, “You insisted I use it.” Immediately, I stopped myself. I wanted to bite his head off (literally). Instead, I bit my tongue (again, literally), and apologized for jumping to conclusions. Then Dave sweetly apologized for not giving my…

I specifically chose not to include the more profound abuse I have experienced. Unfortunately the experiences I included here are quietly commonplace. When I am all alone and safe, the phrase I think of are “culturally insidious, misuse of power and epidemic abuses.” In fact, I think the small acts of petty domination, verbal threatening, and entitled abuses of power have become (almost) ordinary. As a society we are not just guilty of re-victimizing women who have suffered horrific sexual…

I meant to post this post last night and really I have been meaning to post this for days. The world keeps moving so fast. In this moment, I am devastated that I have to add this preface. Please know that my sentiment does not change. It is actually stronger. Most of you know the news. The United States experienced the worst mass shooting in US history. Here is how I received the news: I awoke to a text from Kyle. He had gone to school early for a chemistry lab. He wanted to let me know…

Please do not take it personally. First, and foremost, I LOVE people and my relationships with them. Through years of practice, I have also learned that friendship is not an exact science. Thankfully, I have awesome friends; friends who are cool with who I am (or are super awesome at pretending). And because I am a huge sucker for connection, especially the connection that the word “friendship” or “best friend” implies, I take my role as friend very seriously (like in a for-real blood oath…

I love traveling. I push my kids to travel. In fact, Kyle has eagerly anticipated our summer travel. “Mom, I could be gone all summer.” He enthusiastically said. Then yesterday, day six of our trip, Kyle proclaimed: “Mom, you know how we normally take like nine day trips? I wish this one was nine days. This trip is too long. I want to be back home with my friends.” Alas, Kyle is a teenager. Teenagers and their moods are my realities. Most often it is Eli who wants to be home. This time it…

Salt Lake City, Utah, Monday afternoon, July 10: I sat in my doctor’s office. After waiting for more than an hour, he walked into the room. I could tell he was upset and I knew why. Do not worry. There was no devastating news. He merely wanted to chew me out. I let him. Then I paused. Here is what happened: Thursday, July 6, I was ready to leave for the hospital — so was Dave. It was 9AM. The hospital wanted me to arrive at 9:15AM. Sinus Surgery would start at 11:30AM. As he sat on the…

A little over ten years ago I blogged daily. With an an average of 20,000 daily readers, I was on my way to becoming a well known public voice. I loved it. In truth, I have always written. Sometimes my writing is sloppy and less polished and other times extensively edited. Regardless, I need to get my words out — always. I journaled as a young girl. I spent hours talking and processing and eventually pouring those thoughts onto the page. In high school, I sought out creative writing…

I had no idea. Sure, I kind of knew I was depressed. I just thought it was my typical Seasonal Affected Disorder. Winter grey is no fun every single year. As a result of my malaise, I was not correlating that the darkness I was feeling was because of my eyes. And because I am pretty farsighted, I figured my bad eyesight was a result of my inability to read tiny ingredient labels. And for some reason I attached my tiny label issue to my utter inability to read larger font restaurant menus. I…

A friend recently suggested I listen to Brené Brown’s talk entitled, “The Anatomy of Trust.” I was like, “Who is Brené Brown? And why do you always refer to her?” Apparently I am nearly the last people on Earth who has not heard of or listened to Brené Brown, or at least, I am the last of the subset of those who listen of those who watch Oprah, listen to the Ted Radio hour, and/or read transcendent personal essays, such as the ones found in The Atlantic Monthly. In truth, I was listening to…

Yes. I have photographic evidence of said waffle. I made it this morning. Each Sunday morning, for our family breakfast, I follow the exact same recipe, which is located on the back of the gluten free Bisquick baking mix. I measure. I stir. I blend. I pour the batter in and then I wait. Gently I nudge open the waffle iron. If I feel any sort of tension, I wait some more. Today I was able to open the iron. As I urged my waffle out, I noticed it was sticking. When I see my waffle fall apart…

One idea. One moment. One thought. One place to start. Before my life is over I want to make sure I do my part. I have a lot to say and a lot of observations to make. But then I get stuck in my head — waylaid. Saturday night, as we literally flew through smog layer (the notorious Salt Lake City temperature inversion), my heart sank, or better, as we entered the inversion, my heart immediately covered itself in a misty, ugly grey. Grey is what I see outside. And as my head and my heart fill…

One idea. One moment. One thought. One place to start. Before my life is over I want to make sure I do my part. I have a lot to say and a lot of observations to make. But then I get stuck in my head — waylaid. Saturday night, as we literally flew through smog layer (the notorious Salt Lake City temperature inversion), my heart sank, or better, as we entered the inversion, my heart immediately covered itself in a misty, ugly grey. Grey is what I see outside. And as my head and my heart fill…

I think Dave would agree as represented in what he said earlier today: “Beth, I love Christmas, but each year you make me want to kill myself.” I would go as far as to argue that together Dave and I are clearly a gift giving mess. It is 2016. Here is where we are at. According to Dave, I should shut my mouth, open my heart and exude excitement over each gift I am given. I not only think he is on to something, I think he is right. We should be gracious. We should empathize. We should…