Your struggle is not you any more than a hill is you when running or weights at the gym when lifting. It's there to shape you with the needed challenge, not engulf your identity. The faster you learn this in life, the more you will recognize the real you.
I've never heard of this... First Fight. Write love letters to each other and place into a box along with a bottle of wine.nail it shut at the wedding. When you have your first fight, open it up, pour the wine, go to separate corners, read the love letter & remember what it's all about.