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Just ran up behind my wife, grabbed her boobs and yelled, ""Merry Titmas!!" She immediately turned around, whacked me in the nuts and yelled, "Jingle Balls!!" Touche woman. I had it coming.

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Marriage is all about compromise. That's the idea anyway. But compromise has many meanings. And sometimes it means doing what your wife tells you to do and accepting that she's right, regardless of how much evidence you have to the contrary.

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Men who kiss their wife before work: Live longer, & make more money! - Hmm! ...Gonna get back to you on this one! ~WTF fun facts

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from BuzzFeed

The 85 Funniest Tweets Of All Time

Literally people were congratulating the HUSBANDS of female Olympic athletes for HER WORK, HER MEDAL, HER ACHIEVEMENT.

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My wife asked me to pass her lip balm. I passed her super glue by mistake. She's still not talking to me.

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My grandpa died of Alzheimer's disease and the last name he remembered was his late wife's who died nearly 11 years ago

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Me: "Honey, its really muggy out today." Wife: "I swear to god if I go outside and all of our mugs are on the lawn, I'm leaving you." Me:*sips coffee from bowl*

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