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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. / Henny Youngman

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"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.", Henny Youngman

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. - Henny Youngman

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While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. - Henny Youngman

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